Jimmie
Birthed of the same parents, but receiving different genes, eleven years my junior, I wasn't excited when you were born. I already had two younger siblings and three seemed far too many. My memories are sparse, but the few I have of you as a child, are treasures. Your skin was the darkest of the four, your hair the blackest and the most out of control, you came into my world with a smile.
I remember playing with you on mommy and daddy's bed, the room that began as the kitchen in my infancy. It had a blue and yellow linoleum tile floor that was cold to walk on, but easy for mommy to dust everyday of her life. You had the skinniest arms and legs and would giggle with excitement when I made silly sounds and gurgles. On the nights you refused to sleep, I would pick you up and sit at the top of the stairs that were lined on one side with fine knotty pine. I would rock, sing and wait for your eyes to close. When they became heavy with sleep, I would try to gently lay you down. Without fail, when I stood up to put you back in your crib, your big dark brown eyes would open wide and I would be back to the highly varnished and Pledged top step.
As you grew into school age, I sometimes think you were lost in the shuffle of three older siblings. Our world swirled and turned and in the speed I didn't collect memories of you as my life moved through high school, college and marriage. My only connection with you during your growing years were phone calls home on weekends, where I collected bits and pieces of your life. Mommy was always worried that you could never survive on your diet of plain pasta and hot dogs, eating spoonfuls of butter from the refrigerator. Somehow you finished high school and college in years only shared through telephone conversations.
Like those first memories I have of you never being still, never wanting to close those eyes, always wanting to move, giggle and shake, you stayed that way into adulthood. It was that non-stop mover that gave you the impetus to achieve your goals. You have traveled the country making more states your temporary home and working in the fast pace world of technology that fits your personality.
You became the one to help me believe. Reach high, dream big, and always search for something you want, you would encourage. Each in our own worlds, we have searched far for what has always kept us connected. We both still race, read books that teach us to stay centered, listen to advice from public radio as we travel, and find each other on the soil where we both began our lives and call home. I cherish the times we have together, even if it is only for a few days or a passing moment.
Our worlds connect intermittently from time to time as I collect your memories. A trip to Ocean City in the summer when I was hurting, found us on the beach playing in the sea's foamy waves, as the garbage truck swept the sandy beaches and my three young children were touched by your excitement for life. Who else would wade into the water at two a.m. shouting silly nonsense that brought laughter and excitement to their lives? 'Chingow' became your secret code with the kids that trip, and each shout brought laughter to your young admirers.
You gave us New York City, one summer, complete with the Statue of Liberty, the Empire State Building, Pea Patch Island and the subway at midnight, when the only ones willing to give us a tour were you and the rats and roaches on the sidewalks to Grand Central Station.
You have given my life laughter and the courage to take risks. Still today we continue to make the memories that bind us. Only you, would greet me on the streets of Brooklyn, waiting in the hotel lobby for three hours just to surprise me as our lives crossed paths. Haggard, stressed and exhausted, fighting New York traffic in a rental car, I had little patience left, pulling into the very inadequate driveway to the hotel. More signs and directions loomed ahead as I tried to keep my sanity amid the chaos of the parking lot attendant's requirements and requests for $15 per night parking fees. Not expecting to see you standing on the curb, your calm voice acknowledging, "I can help you with that information ma'am!", brought impatience to my thoughts. Abruptly, I turned to give a curt no thank you to what I thought another pushy bell hop, until I finally made eye contact with your familiar West Virginia tee shirt and knew that again our lives were connecting.
We may live far apart and our lives may only touch from time to time but we have defined our togetherness in the alpha and omega to our family.
postamble();